The letter writing exercise was very fun for me! There were a couple of people who I've been meaning to thank for their contributions to my life, but my busy schedule always seems to be getting in the way of me doing so. I chose to write one letter to a very close friend of mine who lives 7 hours from me...one I haven't seen more than once a year for the past 3 years but knows me well. I chose to write the other letter to a past co-worker who I worked with up until 4 months ago.
I wrote long-hand to my past co-worker because I knew that she could use some encouragement. Getting a letter in the mail always makes me feel especially valued because of the extra time and energy (though seemingly insignificant if it weren't for email) it takes for someone to send a letter. I wanted her to feel especailly valued. The fact that I think of a letter as taking extra time and energy reflects our culture's concern with efficiency. Normally we prefer writing emails to sending letter because it is quicker and easier. The technology that made email possible increased our concern with efficiency, and now we no longer think that sending a letter is very efficient, whereas in the past it was viewed as much more efficient than other options. We didn't always refer to letters sent through USPS as snail mail. Only after technology was made available to us that made possible more efficient communication via email did we begin to value efficiency more and begin to think of USPS as inefficient "snail mail."
I wrote an email to my close friend who happens to be getting married in less than a month. Her life is very busy and full of excitement right now. She has many people who are encouraging her, still I wanted to tell her how great I think she is, and I knew that an email would suit what I wanted to say to her just perfectly. She already knows how important she is to me, so I didn't feel the need to write long-hand just to communicate how much I value her.
In the long-hand letter I wrote to my past co-worker I used language like I would use in a thank you card to anyone who doesn't know me well. I was careful not to write anything that might be interpreted wrong, especially since non-verbal communication was absent. Although we worked side by side for almost 3 years, she doesn't necessarily know how much I value her. I thought that a letter written with clear language would be better than email for showing her how valuable she is to me.
The email I wrote to my close friend was much less formal, not only in form, but in content. I wrote to her in a numbered list because it suited her personality well. We have plenty of inside jokes that I included in the list. It went something like this.....
1) You look stunning in your engagement photos!
2) I get to see you in just a couple of weeks!
3) I still haven't met your fiance.
4) I am super excited to finally meet him!
5) You are still the igliest person I know.
Etc....You get the point. The email was very informal, yet I'm sure it got my point across perfectly!
Accessibility, control, and excitement may make internet communication attractive as the ACE model suggests (W&S, p.104), but I think that sending a letter in the mail, though an outgoing USPS mailbos was not as easily accessible as my computer and I felt less in control of when the letter would get to my friend, was more exciting than sending an email. If not for the accessibility and control that the internet provides, I might just send letters through good old fashioned snail mail all the time. I think that since the internet became available to us, our culture has come to value accessibility and control more and more which is why people become addicted to the internet. They become so concerned with accessbility and control (cultural values) that they become dependent on the internet for various things. It is culturally unacceptable within most social institutions not to respond promptly (and by promptly I mean pretty much immediately) to messages we receive, so it is a cultural norm to use email for communication since it allows us to do so.
Postman writes in chapter 5 about how we look to the internet to solve our problems. I think that when it comes to relational problems, face-to-face communication is best for resolving them, but letters sent through mail are more effective than emails. Relational problems are more likely to be amplified over the internet than they are to be resolved.
Surprisingly I got a response (via the phone) from my past co-worker immediately after she received my letter in the mail (just 2 days after I sent it), but I haven't heard from my close friend whom I emailed. I think that my past co-worker's response confirms the value of sending a letter in the mail versus sending an email. She called me to thank me because my letter meant more to her than the vast amount of emails she receives. My close friend's lack of response confirms how busy she is, but I think it also confirms how our culture thinks of online communication. We value being able to communicate on our own time when we feel like it. I know that my friend will respond when she has the time and the desire to communicate. I know her well enough not to be offended it it takes her a while.
5 comments:
Perhaps it was the fact that the letter you sent was an exception rather than the norm, and that this made her take extra notice to respond. When someone deliberately sends a snail mail rather than an email, in this day and age it does make one wonder why.
I also wrote an email to my best friend. She does already know how much she means to me, so I guess the way you put it, I also saw an email appropriate enough. And I agree that the hand written letter is more persoanl and does help in communicating more personally.
I think you wrote a very intriguing blog. I really wanted to know what had happened at the end with your letters. I would have to agree with what aaron said! Sometimes in todays society, it is so uncommon to recieve an actual letter that it can really throw somebody off the edge of their seat. I like how you chose to write to your best friend. It seems so obvious, but being friends for so long, and then growing up and beginning lives that do not include each other in every step really have an impact on people.
I really liked your post. I think that your reaction to snail mail was very similar to mine. I feel like when someone receives a letter in the mail it can make them feel very special. It does take more time and effort than an email, but it is so much more personal. I think that, for some people, email is better because with work or school they are already at their computer. In general I feel like snail mail should be used more often. I know that receiving a post card from my brother who lives in Prague is much more meaningful than an email response from him.
I think you were the only one who did not write to their grandmother! How nice of you to think of someone you worked with for such a great letter. You brought up a very good point about how no one really writes letters anymore, yet they show such great effort to make a person feel special. I know, that if I received a letter, I would feel so grateful and excited! I also loved how you wrote your friend an email that was not formal at all but cute and funny and something only the two of you could understand. To me that conveys a lot more sentiment in an email then most people tend to put in emails anymore.
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